How would you like to take Amsterdam?*

*other than “by storm.” Only assholes hope for wet weather.**

BY SEA!?

(Boat tours)

10% off in combination with either or both of the other modes of touristic transportion. Discount code in confirmation email.

Those Dam Boat Guys

I mean. What more do you want to know? You clearly have made it to this page because you already love Those Dam Boat Guys! They, aka we, are delightful! We, aka they, probably think you’re pretty cool too!

Just book tickets already. Don’t make us beg. We won’t beg. We can’t beg. We never learned how to beg. Must have been sick that day in school.

Pleeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaase don’t make us beg!

BY LAND!?

(Walking tours)

10% off in combination with either or both of the other modes of touristic transportion. Discount code in confirmation email.

Hit The Bricks

Hit the Bricks is Amsterdam's premier peddler of entertaining and engaging, off-the-beaten-path walking tours.

Do you like your history to come with a side of craft beer? 

Wondering if those pale spectral shapes you see in the night are gh-gh-ghosts, or just English lads who didn't listen to the coffeeshop guy when they said, "start with half and wait an hour."

Or maybe you just want to take your Amsterdam know -how and turn it into.......wait for it........ your Amsterdam (hell) yes -how......by exploring hidden nooks and crannies around the Historic city center, with our fun, funny, knowledgeable, mostly (we believe in you, Mark) house-broken guides!


If you have any special wants/needs/desires for a private tour, let us know via our contact page! So long as we can walk there, we can make it happen. 

 

Also by land!?

(Bike Tours)

10% off in combination with either or both of the other modes of touristic transportion. Discount code in confirmation email.

Amsterdam Bike Pirates

The Amsterdam Bike Pirates want to help you explore this magical land as stereotypically as possible! Atop two wheels, with the world at your handlebars.

Join them on their exceptional city cycling tours and/or as they raid the quaint villages and scope out the surprisingly stunning not-so-natural-nature in the below-sea-level farmland in Amsterdam Noord (north), across the river IJ.

PREPARE TO BE NOORDED!

 
 
 

**That’s right — we’re not afraid to say it — plants are assholes.